IDENTITY AND FACE

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brief 8

FOR THIS BRIEF WE WERE INITIALLY GIVEN AN ASSORTMENT OF OPTIONS TO PICK FROM. WE COULD EITHER PICK ONE OF 9 BRIEFS AROUND THE THEME “IDENTITY”, THE “HANDMADE” NOTTINGHAM COMMISSIONED BRIEF, OR WE COULD STRUCTURE AND PROPSE OUR OWN BRIEF.

I WAS INITITALLY DRAWN TO THE IDEA OF PROPSING MY OWN BRIEF. AT THE START OF THE YEAR I WAS CERTAIN THAT AT SOME POINT I WOULD FIND A WAY TO WORK ON SOME SORT OF TEXTILE BASED BRIEF, BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT AS THE FIRST PROJECT I STARTED THIS YEAR.

AFTER READING THROUGH THE BRIEF OPTIONS, I FELT DRAWN TO THE CONCEPT OF THE EIGHTH BRIEF. HOW DO WE VIEW OURSELVES ONLINE? HOW DO WE PORTRAY OURSELVES? ALL THAT DATA THAT GETS STORED AND CHURNS THROUGH THE MACHINE DAY IN DAY OUT. IT IS ALMOST INESCAPABLE. THE PRESENT STATE OF SOCIETY ALMOST DEMANDS US TO BE CONSTANTLY IN TOUCH WITH THIS OUTER REALM THAT HAS NO TANGIBLE SELF BUT IS EVER PRESENT IN OUR LIVES.

ALL OF THE CONCEPTS MENTIONED IN THE BRIEF SWIRLED INTO SOMETHING INCOMPREHENSIBLE AT FIRST. BUT IT DID REMIND ME OF A SET OF LYRICS FROM A BASTILLE SONG CALLED “POET”.

THIS SONG IS A CALLBACK TO SHAKESPEARE’s “sonnet 18”. i found the juxtaposition between the ever-shifting modernity of the internet and online personas, and a sonnet written in the 17th century kind of absurd.

but it is true. we have always strived to document ourselves throughout history. it’s just that now its online on a digital profile instead of on parchment and pen.

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the ooze – brud/aditya mandayam

i went to the library to understand what the brief was asking of me better. instead i got sidetracked and picked up this book.

the first portion includes a short story about a sort of inescapable ooze that leaks out of a door that was locked shut in an art gallery. once opened, it would be impossible to get rid of it. the sort of thing that seeps into your life and never leaves.

regardless, after that section there is a whole host of “ideas” and concepts from the mind of brud that i found entrancing. more than the others, was this idea of “decommissioning” and the kind of graveyard that is left behind once machines are no longer of use.

this made me think of all the online personas and accounts that get abandoned. sometimes they are left because someone has “grown out of that phase” or they were chased away from their platform. maybe they simply have passed away as humans do. regardless, there exists a whole host of “scrap” online of these sorts of identities. i myself have countless accounts that i’ve moved on from, but not deleted. that information is stored online forever. no one can escape it.

a squid-eating doe in a polyethylene bag is vast & bulbous

this short story skims over the kind of feeling i am often consumed with, which is why i include it. the kind of scattered thinking and “i could do it, and i understand what is wrong with me” patterns that eat at your life.

i think that it perfectly captures the kind of “perfect” that people online try to associate themselves with. “of course i know this!” and “i will warn you about it but i will not bother you with it”. a certain uncaringness about life.

“you can always count on me.”

– and it really does feel that way when you’re looking through a screen!

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a business card; what do i stand for

kristian asked us to make a list of things that describes who we are in five points.

mine is a bit lame, but its accurate all the same.

then he asked us to design a business card.

instead of a card, i made a sticker that i printed onto sticker paper.

it’s cute!

i think in the moment i decided that i would rather give out a sticker than a rectangle of card, even though i do see the appeal.

this was fun to illustrate regardless. this is both my identity and the identity of my work in one. i like looking at it.

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Form + code

i was familliar with the concepts that this book teaches, but i was infinitismly more interested in the visuals displayed

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adam harvey

adam harvey’s articles were some of the resources linked on the brief. i found particular interest in the “cv dazzle” idea.

ai and machine learning is constanly hungry for growth, and big tech is always seeking ways to steal data to feed to its learning models; evidenced more now than ever through the stealing of art and contextual resources online.

adam harvey attempts to throw a wrench in the machine by feeding it a complete anomaly. it’s loud and looks crazy and absolutely doesn’t fit into society. i loved it.

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pandoras_vox: on community in cyberspace

this essay published in 1994 by user “humdog” was reccomended by kristian for me to read when i was talking about an essay i had written the previous weekend.

many of the issues that humdog talked about are still heavily prevelent in cyberspace today. it is astounding how little has changed.

still people package themselves up so that the algorithm can send themselves out as a perfectly packaged induvidual. and we all consume it. we all feed into it constantly, most every single time they pick up their phones.

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defunct software and creation

reflecting back, i am sure that i got the inklings for this idea from the “decommissioning” by brud, but i decided to look for a download for cad software that i used to lazer cut when i was 15.

it is perhaps one of the most out of date softwares that i have touched in a long long while. and yet it is still completely functional. it does it’s job. i do wonder what would ever replace it, as it is perfectly suited for it’s one purpose.

regardless, i created shapes using various tools, exploded the lines, and filled in sections. i used this software initially because i wanted the kind of “crunchyness” that this sort of cad software excels at. you can count the pixels. everything is binary, as it is meant to be read by a machine and executed. i took a screencap of the mess and took it into procreate.

i then drew an image of a girl reaching out ontop of it. initially i was going to keep the colours to this blue white mosaic, but then i got a bit carried away.

as such, the end result looks like this:

i’m not quite sure what to say about what happened. i was trying to embody “the internet” and its vastness. i’d say i somewhat achieved this. it looks a bit crazy though.

it’s composed of a lot of layers and yet none at all. the way i work has a “finality” to it, whereby i work on one layer and merge all at every opportunity. although the piece definitely utilised a vast amount of screen, colour dodge and overlay layers, the final layer is flat. in my mind, this also fit with the interdimentionality of cyberspace, and yet how we percieve it with only one flat view.

the one part i do particularly love is how the texture of the girl’s hair came out. it has a certain calmmess in the blue that is completely juxtaposed by the lower firey portion.

it took me a long long time to balance the colours out right. it took longer to balance and change colours than it did to make the initial base draft. But this only makes sense with a nonsensible spectrum of colour being used.

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musings with ellie – studio session

ellie set us a task of writing about our projects for 3 pages, and then talking about our fears on the back. this didn’t particularly help me as i already talk too much, but i took it as more of a challenge, and it’s always good to consolidate.

as for fears, i am more than aware of mine. it’s already more than evident to me since the start of this project; i talk and research too much, and don’t produce enough work to substantiate it. but i will continue to loop this cycle. eventually i will produce the work, but i enjoy the search for information too much to give it up.

it did help though!

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library visit

we were sent off to the library in the afternoon. this again, did not help me much as i had already been recently. instead i read the autobiograpy of yayoi kusama.

here are some pages that particularly resonated with me:

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physicality of technology

for the next thing i created, i wanted it to be something with a sense of tangibility to it. for the internet, it is inextricably linked to the existence of computers.

here are a collection of images. the first four are images that my brother, who studies electrical engineering, sent to me. the fifth and last is of my laptop (my pride and joy) undergoing surgery (cleaning and re-application of thermal paste) this past summer.

i went to various charity shops and tech repair shops to find “circuitry” and other random things that i could associate with “retro technology”. Here are a few of the scans of those objects:

i then did some thumbnailing

if i have an idea when i don’t have access to pen and paper, i roughly sketch it out using the “sketchup” app on apple devices. they tend to be all over the place, as do most sketches when you are using your finger on your phone screen while walking.

although the execution on the first is extremely poor, i knew what kind of image i could turn it into. i love the second sketch a lot, but i had no idea for what direction to take that kind of concept at that moment. as such, i let it exist for now.

here is my initial sketch. similar to the previous piece, i knew that this “draft” version would be nowhere near the final piece visually at all.

i then promptly got sidetracked.

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not in employment, education or training

remilia quarterly was a magazine that i saw while on the bath trip in year 2. i realised that this concept of “digital angel” that i was trying to illustrate previously was absolutely a stem of the types of things talked about in this magazine

remilia weekly’s articles talk often of “gods” “angels” and the constrictive reality that is “neetdom”

for those unaware, a “NEET (not in employment, education or training) is a person who spends most, if not all of their time online, and has nothing better to do. i have been familiar with this concept for a long time, as it is mentioned quite a few times in japanese media.

one of the first anime that i watched, called “kagerou project” starts off with a scene of shintaro kisaragi warring (and lying) on online forums and making himself out to be something bigger than he is. his “digital assistant” calls him out for being a “neet” and tells him to go outside. later on in the episode, he spills cola on his keyboard and is forced out into the outside world for the first time in two years.

the kind of mental anguish and how he acts in the outside world is such a major contrast to how he portrays himself online. he can hide behind his lies online, but not in the blistering sun shining down on the street.

in remlia weekly however, most of the authors of articles are more self-aware. rather than lying on the internet like shintaro, they ask forgiveness for their mental illnesses and self-imposed superiority.

they say that they cannot help who they are. and maybe it is true. even though this kind of thing has never existed before, it doesn’t mean it cannot exist now. they are totally immersed in cyberspace and wish to curate it totally with their visions of religion and “rightness” through this magazine. for this kind of ambition to appear, it requires strenghth of mind. it’s more than i can say for myself.

i took forward the angel-like freedom that the neet’s of remilia weekly wished to imbue into the world.

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creating an angel

i took forward one of the sketches and tried expanding on it.

I used one of the scans i had of a circuit board i got from a phone shop and painted ontop of it to start creating this piece

i liked how it was turning out, but i didn’t finish it

my mind was more focused on making a physical piece, and the digital nature of this idea didn’t really resonate with me, even though i liked the concept of it.

i ended up ditching it, and instead went searching for physical parts that i could meld together to make a sculpture rather than this idea.

i was really struggling with giving shape to something so formless. your digital identity just simply doesn’t have a physical form. it doesn’t have colours and it doesn’t have “feelings” other than your own desires that you project onto it.

i think to try to tackle this, i went out looking for this physicality in the form of computer parts.

after all, these ideas have to live somewhere. and they do! it’s just in our phones and computers and screens rather than their real own shape.

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the great amassing of technical equipment

i had the idea to make a figurine. i really wanted to make something that i could hold in my hands. the digital nature of this branch of “identity” is something that is firmly situated in the digital realm, and the idea of pulling it out to make a physical depiction of it was very entrancing to me.

i collected capacitors, memory sticks, led’s, glass tiles, rhinestones, copper wire and various scrap parts that i had from junk sales and from my previous years of studying engineering

i had been sketching out designs for figurines and what to fill them with internally. i want to cast a circuit in resin with a copper nerve system. i have 200 capacitors to my name.

rhinestone stickers, capacitors, switches, random junk parts, tiles and beads, USB sticks
200 capacitors and various circuit board parts (buzzer, resistors, switches, LED number screen, dials, etc

i also had some circuit boards that I soldered myself in previous years.

front of boards
back of boards

i’ll be honest, i have no recollection of what they do or what they were used for, other that the blue one was for some sort of testing that required being hooked up to a machine. but i really like the look and feel of them. the parts are so unique, and the patterns that get printed onto them are quite cool to me.

i also went to the bead shop for ideas. i really liked the look of beads and how translucent and uniform their shapes are. The reflective coating reminded me of the coat that certain metal computer parts are covered in for protection. the various colours shining through were beautiful to me.

i wanted to somehow combine all these materials together. the idea of making a 3d clean pristine figurine was something i really wanted to do at this point, but taking the step to make it was daunting.

it would involve either 3d modelling for 3D PRINTING or making a model OUT OF CLAY to get casted in silicon to make a mould. ONLY FROM THERE COULD I CAST THE FIGURE IN SILICON AND THEN REMOVE THE TEMPLATE TO POUR IN RESIN AND THE VARIOUS COPPER WIRE AND PARTS THAT I WANTED TO ADD IN. IT’S IN NO WAY A SIMPLE PROCESS AT ALL, SO IT WAS QUITE A HARD THING TO TACKLE, ESPECIALLY WHEN TRYING TO FIND A STARTING POINT.

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FIGURINES

I DECIDED TO LOOK AT SOME ALREADY EXISTING FIGURINES TO SEE IF I COULD GET A BETTER GRIP ON WHAT IDEA IT WAS EXACTLY THAT I WANTED TO CREATE.

THE FIRST PORT OF CALL FOR ME WAS ANIME FIGURINES. THERE WERE SOME THAT I WAS ALREADY FAMILAR WITH THAT DEFINITELY HAD IDEAS THAT I LIKED IMMENSELY.

hatsune miku nendroid

THIS HATSUNE MIKU FIGURINE IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES OF ALL TIME, IN PARTICULAR THE VERSION WITH THE CABLES STICKING OUT OF HER HEAD. IT REALLY ADDS TO THE “DIGITAL” NATURE OF HATSUNE MIKU, SHE IS A DATABANK THAT IS PLUGGED INTO A SOFTWARE, AFTER ALL. THE HEADPHONES WITH THE MIXER SLIDERS ON THE SIDE ARE ALSO COOL TO ME.

SHE HAS A “MOE” STYLED FACE, BEING MORE CUTE THAN REALISTIC. I THINK THAT ADDS TO THE CHARM OF THE FIGURE AND STYLING A LOT MORE THAN ANYTHING REALISTIC, OR MORE “DEFINED” WHEN IT COMES TO ANIME STYLES.

the two above are simply “racing miku” figures, that are made for “goodsmile racing”, which is related to formula 1 and high speed racing. she is simply a mascot in these designs, and she generally gets printed onto skins for cars.

despite this, these designs always tend to emphasise a more “digital” and “futuristic” side of hatsune miku. it does make sense considering the nature of formula 1 racing in the first place. it is nothing if not “innovative”.

this figurine of “ghost in the shell” character Motoko Kusanagi, is really beautiful to me. it really, really embodies the kind of concepts i’ve been trying to make work in this project, and is very reminiscent of that digital piece of the angel strapped to the circuit board that i was working on previously. the wires and outlets are so detailed, and it emphasises the robotic nature of motoko herself. the way the figure is attached to a sheet of metal is also very cool; like real circuit boards with their fixtures.

rei amanami from “neon genesis evangelion”. The Evangelion series is known for its mecha robots and it’s storyline which is apparently really piercing.

i’ve never watched it, but i am very familiar with the characters. This figure in particular is very beautiful, though. the human hair flowing contrasts with the sleek plastic nature of her bodysuit. i really love the dissonance in it. it really makes rei look a lot more human, despite all the robotic elements in her design.

this popmart figure from the azuri series really stood out to me. even though it doesn’t fit my theme, the roundness and shapes involved really stood out to me as inspiration to me for my own figurine.

below, are the series “the sound” from skullpanda which are sold at popmart.

the design of these figures are really, really cool. The futuristic vibe is pushed across with sleek forms and spheres. The shapes melt into each other, with lots of accessories but never to the point of overcrowding.

The proportions of the figures are also ideal to me, as they fit in your hand in a nice way. they are also less risky when designing because they don’t have too many intricate parts so they’re a little bit easier to cast if i were to make a figurine that i was going to cast.

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creation from scrap parts

i was really desperate to make something immediately, just to get my fingers into it.

i didn’t take any real process photos of me making the figurine other than this one when i was 95% finished, but that was more because i was so immersed in the process of making that i completely forgot.

The process of making this “angel” was incredibly rewarding to me. here’s the step by step of what i did.

> first i created the dress out of copper wire, twisting it back and forth between a ring of copper that became the bottom of the dress

> i then created the feet and hands out of copper wire too.

> to fasten the feet to the base, i used a hot glue gun.

> i then realised i could fill in the outline of the copper hands with hot glue, so i did that. and then i realised i could use the same technique for the dress.

> after, i pushed beads into the hands, and used a lighter to re-melt the hot glue to attach the rhinestones.

> i looked at the bag of capacitors and knew that i wanted to use them. when i was looking at them, i realised the kind of looked like grass. i expanded the hot glue base and pushed them in.

> i also was itching to use the glass tiles, and really liked the way they looked like real tiles on the path, so i pushed them into the base too, alongside some beads to fill some of the space

> for the head, i was incredibly hesistant to create a full sphere, because it would be heavy and might topple the figure over if i wasn’t careful enough. i then found a bulb that was among some of the materials i had ammassed when i was collecting parts. the idea of having a bulb head was perfect to me. it completely bypassed all of the reservations i had, and i thought it was beautifully poetic. the figure would shine and reflect, and the bulb also had that iridescent sheen that the beads at the bead shop also had.

> lastly, i wasn’t happy with how the base had a lot of the grey glue showing, especially when i was trying to make it look like “grass”. so i poured on posca paint pen liquid as well as a green sharpie to fill in the gaps.

Here are pictures of the final figurine:

“scrap angel”

I loved the process of making this “amalgamation”. The vague “thing” that was trying to conform to a vague semblance of humanity felt quite transformative to me, and definitely fit in with my perception of “digital identity” and the need to conform to the ideals set by it.

The feeling of melding something together with my own hands was cathartic. And I loved the visuals of the finished product, even though it is very amateur in nature.

it is “digital” but also absolutely not. It feels so human to me, even though it’s made of copper and plastic. The hot glue definitely is a factor in this; it’s so smooth, and the way it looks when burnt is also a nice nod to “burnout”. It makes me think of “burnout” when having to upkeep your persona online.

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EXPLORING CLAY

from here, i wanted to head back to the idea of making a more “polished” figurine. it would completely contrast my “scrap angel”, but i wanted to see how it would look.

as previously mentioned, i was aware that there were really only two routes to take when creating this:

> 3d printing, chemically melting to make it smooth, and then casting in silicon

> sculpting out of some sort of clay, and then casting in silicon

from casting in silicon, i would be able to fill the mould with the copper wiring that i wanted to look like “veins” and the other various parts that i could twist into human internal organs

I DID, INITIALLY, TRY THE 3D MODELLING ROUTE. I DOWNLOADED NOMAD SCULPT AND DID A TEST WHERE I PLAYED AROUND WITH THE SOFTWARE.

however, i didn’t really like the process, in the way that i wanted to make something myself with my hands, and i wasn’t keen on 3d printing my figurine, despite the research i did in the area.

being able to touch and meld what i was making with my hands was something that i really loved from making my “scrap angel” and i felt like that handmade feel would be both missing and wasted if i just 3d modelled the figurine. it wouldn’t be as transformative as i wanted it to be, especially when factoring in human emotion.

first, i went to the clay room in bonnington to see if that route was feasible.

i ended up making a simple “girl”

when i was working with the material, i realised that this particular iteration of clay was not right for what i was aiming for.

stoneware is “eathern” and so deeply rooted in nature and earth and the ground that it just didn’t feel right. especially when trying to integrate digital parts into it; they would just melt and burn in the kiln.

the two just arent compatible at all, so i ended up making the girl hold out her hands so that i could maybe place some sort of computer part in her hands instead.

below is the figure after firing:

i did try to make some other random things, and carved some computer chips into little coins of clay, but it still just didn’t feel right at all. i came out of the session knowing that this direction wasn’t right either

earthern figure

even despite all my thoughts on the material, i did really like the final figurine. she is very cute and peaceful, and is true to the material she is made of.

i liked the proportions and size of the figure, and it was helpful in deciding things in regards to that direction when designing though. it wasn’t a waste, and it helped me learn more about myself and the project.

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EXPLORING CLAy: continued

instead of earthenware, i decided to try out polymer and oven bake clays.

these tend to be more “plastic” in nature so i was more confident in this direction. the clay i was using also had glitter in it, for an even more “artifial” look.

stripped down USB stick

my idea for these was to create little figurines that would sit on top of a USB stick, so that they would stick out of the port as a little companion.

i did some initial sketches to base my figures off of:

the green highlighted parts (and the blue pencil line on the second sticky note) are the real size of the internal usb that i will be laying the figurines on.

this helped me gauge the size better when i was portioning out the clay

initial tests with oven bake clay

i regret not taking photos of the “figures” before i put them in the oven.

the major fault with these was the fact that i had not accounted for air bubbles when i was making them. as such, the air bubbles completely destroyed them.

Additionally, the slot i made for the USB to stick in on the backside of them got completely collapsed on. the clay melted to sink into the gap, rendering the gap useless.

despite all of this, the actual concept turned out better than i imagined. the colour didn’t matter because my main goal in these was testing form, which i learned a lot about the medium from for further tests.

i think that if the slots on the back didn’t collapse on themselves, the idea would be pretty cool. i would need a metal block thats the size of the USB internals though to make that happen as it would have to go in the oven.

i learned a good amount about cutting and sculpting the clay as well as some ways to cut time. despite the awful appearance, it was a good learning opportunity.

for my second attempt, i gathered all my scrap junk parts and tried using fimo clay. i ended up making that stubby little thing on the bottom right.

it really looks like a stubby chess piece, but i liked the lightbulb concept with the switch on the body. if it was actually functional, a little figurine with a mini bulb and switch would actually be pretty cute i think.

after doing this first one, i went back to the metallic oven bake clays and used the silver one to make another more “robotic” themed figurine. i went back to the other clays because:

> they were softer and easier to use

> the silver metallic colour was very entrancing and i liked the look of it, especially when i thought about adding parts to it

i ended up making a small little “robot buddy” style figurine to match my “lightbulb guy”:

after baking

the “lightbulb guy” got a little bit burnt in the oven, probably because i used such a light shade of grey, and because of my own negligence.

i really, really liked how the “robot buddy” turned out. The silver sheen looks really nice, and the two little metal spiked horns slotted in *relatively* nicely after baking. the star of it is definitely the bead in the stomach though.

in the previous brown attempts, i wanted to add a “screen” in the stomach of one of them very badly but didn’t know how to go about it. i think that the bead conveys all that i wanted to with the screen anyway so i think it was successful.

it also didn’t melt while it was in the oven (that was the only piece of “hardware” that i left in the figurines before baking them. everything else was removed and inserted back after)

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designing a figurine

i made countless sketches of ideas for my “figurine” and the pose that i could use for it.

even though i had all these “concepts”, i really wasn’t happy with any of them. i just couldn’t visualise them as a figurine.

they would end up being too smooth and perfect looking in my opinion.

i did really like the sketch of the girl praying though. that kind of “submissive” pose where the devotee is absolved of all burden and duty really resonated with the direction that i was taking “digital identity” in and the way i was interpreting it.

instead of trying to narrow down my idea for a 3d figurine, i instead pivoted back to the “circuit board” idea i had previously, and started drawing more ideas for that instead.

i think i did this because the idea of an angel praying to escape a flat screen is cool, but being printed and immortalised in a flat board hidden in the internals of a computer is even more interesting to me.

things can change over and over on a screen, and you can always change your percieved appearance, but if you’re etched into the circuit or written into the code, you have no control over yourself.

that kind of idea seemed really interesting to me, far more interesting than the whole “figurine” concept i had previously. it was a shame because i had ordered all the materials for it and i was making real progress toward it, but there was no point continuing it when i had this new idea that i loved a whole lot more.

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messing around with components

i took a brief interlude. i found a website called tinkercad which is for making circuits visually and testing them. i think it’s mainly used for education uses, but i had fun making circuits and pasting parts over and over.

it became somewhat of a circuit collage.

above is a non-comprehensive list of some of the parts you can use in the site.

and here’s my initial messing around:

i was trying really hard to make a person out of the parts. it was immensely hard. on the far left you can see a stick man made out of a battery and a coin battery. and in the middle there’s a breadboard with a lot of wires and resistors that i tried to make a face out of, with led’s for eyes.

i couldn’t really get an image out until i found the led strip lights.

happy to exist
shocked!

i really like the second image. the eyes are very cartoony and cute to me.

this was a silly experiment, but i got to be a bit more familiar with some of the parts that can be hooked up to circuit boards. it actually did help a lot when it came to the pcb making process (for recognisisnt footprints which i explain later).

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PCB’S ( PRINTED CIRCUIT BOARDS )

WHEN TALKING TO MY BROTHER ABOUT MY PROJECT, HE BROUGHT UP THE IDEA OF GETTING A pcb PRINTED, AND TALKED ABOUT HIS OWN ENGINEERING PROJECTS THAT INVOLVED MAKING THEM.

FROM HERE, I FOUND A WHOLE NEW IDEA AND WORLD THAT I HADN’T REALISED EXISTED.

ABOVE ARE TWO OF MY BROTHER (HAROON) ‘S PCB’s that he had sent off for making.

he designed the “lines” and the metal hardware that shows up as black on the scans, even though it’s silver in real life.

here’s how the basics of pcb design works:

blinkyparts PCB sample card (here)

a PCB is essencially a sheet of fibreglass that has flat copper wires added onto it on the front and back, and then a layer of green solder mask (it can be many colours, like the blue PCB from uon i made thats in the collecting parts section) pigment on top. you can also choose parts of the copper to not have the green solder mask layer on, so that the copper is exposed. there are also parts that have HASL METAL, which is generally around ports where parts are supposed to slot in, which make soldering around these ports a lot easier and cleaner as the solder sticks to the metal a lot easier than the solder mask (obviously). lastly, when designing a PCB, most engineers use a layer of “silkscreen” which is generally white, to use to “write” on top of the whole thing to identify certain parts, making assembly easier.

the fibreglass shows up as yellow and is translucent. the green pigment is generally seethrough too, unless it has copper underneath it.

i realised that i could use these layers to make an image.

it turns out there is already a whole world for this thing, albeit highly niche.

pcb art is a very small field. Designing a pcb involves using software called “kicad” which has multiple sections of files that need to be configured to generate a “gerber” file that is needed to send to an external manufacturer to get a PCB printed.

to understand it more i watched countless youtube videos and even put out a post on reddit for some guidance.

here are some of the useful youtube videos i watched for documentation’s sake:

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cwvYz2HmLw – how to design your own pcb in 10 minutes

this video was hard to understand, but it helped me to understand the workflow involved with designing a real, functioning pcb, and as such, find out what things i had to skip, as well as the basics of how kicad works

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD6es-Y4LLc&t=425sPCB Art – A Step By Step Tutorial

immensely helpful!! it helped me to understand how to put together the files i needed to properly put together the pcb i wanted

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mmFIAU4sdAHow to Make PCB Art w/ Maker Queen

real pcb artist! was very informative about the variations in pcb’s and all the options that i had. her own art is also very inspiring, and really shows how you can push the medium to the boundaries

alongside this, here are some of the websites that helped me:

> companion core: robot heart
> 1975 Circuit Board Was A Masterpiece Hidden On Your Wrist via hackaday
> PCB Painting Large Pieces via hackaday
> Topic: Using solder resist instead of silkscreen to get black text and graphics? via eevblog
> gingerbread
> Text in a copper pour? Can it be done? via reddit

and of course, the reddit post i made on r/pcb. it was by far the most helpful resource i had when i was making:

my help post ( link )

i doubt i would’ve had enough confidence in this project direction without this post.

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designing my own pcb

i started off by doing some sketches in a brush that was “flat”:

when i was doing these, i was under the impression that i was going to do a series of three. this quickly got scrapped when i found out the price of making them

PCB’s are ordered in bulk, with the minimum order for one design being 5 pieces. this itself isn’t a huge problem, it’s more the shipping cost ( my final piece ended up costing £60 for one design)

i digress. i really liked the bottom three small designs (especially those with the red wires) a lot more than the two on the top right, however, once i realised the price, i knew there was no point expanding on them because i was so enamoured with the first design

i then went on to make a rough mock-up of what i wanted the colours to look like:

this first draft was immensely underwhelming to me, both technically and emotionally. there was clearly something major missing from it that i was lacking, even though i understood how the layers worked and what was feasible.

i redid the draft again to try to get a better grasp on what was wrong. on this version, i added in all the extra “things” i wanted around on the board to see if that would help

I really liked this image a lot more than the previous one. it felt like the subject was really flattened into the board. she’s printed in.

i realised that i needed to have more “outlines” if i wanted to emulate that of a real ciruit board. during this process i heavily referenced the boards that my brother gave me, to see how the interactions between the layers and how the “lines” of copper looked.

i then made the outline in kicad to get the dimensions for the board

this was important as i needed the exact dimentions of the board in order to start my design. kicad has an “image converter” which is instrumental in most pcb art; it converts flat png’s or black and white images into vectors which can be designated a layer in the file ( for example: front copper (f. cu (red))).

KiCAD file viewer menu

the only reason the process becomes so much easier that i initially thought was because i didn’t have to make a schematic for my pcb in order to generate the gerber. i think previously i did have to have one, but the software has advanced to the point where i don’t have to. otherwise, it would’ve taken a whole lot longer

for reference, a schematic is a fully laid out diagram of every circuit on the board with all the components that have been added via “footprints”.

a footprint is something specific to a piece of hardware (e.g. a switch). the right footprint has to be added for the right switch, otherwise it won’t fit into the circuit board properly. it’s a bit like those shape block games you get for children. the triangle can only go through the triangle shaped hole. there is a massive database to search through to get the right footprint for your parts.

moving on from the explainations:

i laid out some of the footprints and holes i wanted drilled in the PCB, and used those as reference.

i then made a procreate file with the exact proportions with that of the pcb cut lines and used them as a template for my design.

it gets a bit more complicated from here on out, be warned.

this was my first “test” at knowing what i was doing. i used a flat round brush with the stabilisation on high to get clean lines. you can actually see the point where i get confused with the lines (around the pinkie finger). this is because of the interactions with the “light” and “dark” parts and how i was intending for most of the board to have the copper layer and have the dark parts without the copper to be the “lines”, but got mixed up.

before restarting, i exported the layer using the image converter to check that i was doing the right thing.

it seemed right! and i was happy with the thickness of the lines, so i restarted the piece. through doing this, i also found out that i can import my own images to kicad in the “user drawing” layer and can toggle it on and off.

first final

i was pretty happy with this, as it resembled my mock-up pretty well. the lines were also reminicient of the copper “wires” on pcb,s especially because of the double outlining and the uniform, clean cut nature of them.

the problem came when importing it into kicad

the kicad image converter tool requires pngs of the layer you want to be converted to be able to generate the vector file of the corresponding layer (mentioned before).

when i do this in the image converter and obtain the layer data to copy over to the pcb editor,

i end up getting this.

“this” in and of itself is not bad, but only if i was going for a flat image with no other circuitry or changes in copper in the rest of the piece.

subsequently, i realised i had to go back and:

> remove the “background” surounding layer

> rework the designs use of negative space so that it was compatible with with the new concept

here is the reworked idea in procreate:

final procreate layers for export to KiCAD

i will now attempt to explain how the layers work and why they are exported the way they are

layer labelling

this first layer is the front copper layer. it will be the lighter of the green shades, and it’s better if silkscreen and the metal parts go on top of it too. subsequently, it includes all of these layers too.

it should look like this, with the fake “wiring” being in the light green too.

so that the metal and silkscreen can be laid on top

the layer that is meant to only have fibreglass looks like this:

this is because, in order to expose the fibreglass, a special mask layer must be applied, so that the green solder mask layer does not stick to it

lastly, the hasl metal and silkscreen layers get exported separately on the relevant layer format type.

KiCAD image converter settings

here are the final layers that i used in the image converter:

my main hurdle at this point was the fact that i wanted more copper on the board but there were components in the way.

i wanted the kind of “outlines” that are visible here:

a close-up of my brother (Haroon)’s PCB

i don’t have a mid-process picture of what it looked like before i did what i did, and i’m too scared to delete the thing i did because it took a long time, so instead i will explain it manually.

imagine the paler red is not there. the bright red is the converted green png from above, and the white is the white png too.

in my second failed attempt, i had the whole background as red too, but i wanted to add in detail like wire patterns and metal pieces, but i wanted them to have the same outlines that my brother’s pcb has, because it really give it that “circuit board” feel.

it took me a long time because i had no help, but i found a tool called “copper fill”. it allowed me to make a polygon using straight lines and fill it in with copper.

first i drew my shape. i used extremely small lines and kept an even gap between the red copper lineart lines and the shape i was drawing.

after completing the shape, right click and select properties. then, click zone manager.

first, make sure the “refill zones” box is checked. then click update displayed zones, and then hit ok.

this cuts out holes in the copper mask, giving the components a border, exactly how i wanted.

the paler red zones are the copper fill. even though they appear pale in the file, it’s only for visibility. it will still have the density of the main red lineart copper layer.

the only other thing mentioning is the sourcing of footprints. a lot of them are from the “footprint” library, where i just scrolled through and picked out ones i liked the look of visually. i also edited some of the footprints in the footprint editor if they were too long or short for the space i was allocating them on the board.

others, were hard to find as they had to be exact. i thought it would be cool if i could plug in some of my own components into the board, so i had to look up on a massive component database for the right footprint. this was extremely hard because i had no idea of what would be compatible, even on a surface level. so i did ask my brother (haroon, again) for help on sourcing these. i cannot, cannot, understate the vastness of this footprint database. and even then, it didn’t have what i was looking for half the time.

the added “buzzer” holes at the end of the silkscreen wires that are “holding down” the angel. i thought this was cool, especially because the buzzer holes have a different look due to the nature of adding a buzzer to a circuit board.

the last thing i did was edit some of the silkscreen labels on the footprints. generally, when you add a footprint, a label saying **REF gets added, so that you can change it to the name of the part. this name gets carried over to the schematic of the pcb and is important in identifying parts.

i had a lot of fun with these. i kept on theme with my concept of “trapped digital personas” and added text i thought fit the character and the ego.

here is the final file, visually. it looks lesser because all the shapes are vectors and look poor when compressed from zooming out. also, the hasl metal layer doesn’t show up; it’s just the nature of the layer type.

final file with all layers showing

the other cool thing about kicad that i forgot to mention, is that there is a build in 3d preview tool, which allowed me to check on how the board would look while i was adding things in.

here are some images from the 3d viewer:

from here, it was just exporting the gerber file and choosing a manufacturer.

i was recommended TO USE either JLCPCB OR PCBWAY. TO CHOOSE, I COMPARED EACH OF THEIR PRODUCTS TO SEE WHICH ONE I LIKED THE COLOURS OF MORE, AS THAT WAS THE ONLY REAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO.

it’s hard to show the difference, but i found that pcbway’s solder mask was just a little bit brighter than jlcpcb’s, so i ordered from there.

this is the preview of the gerber file that i got from pcbway:

the gold parts would be silver on mine as the gold metal option is around £50 more. the dark grey would be fibreglass but it doesn’t show up on this particular preview model

PCB WAY order confirmation

it’s now a waiting game

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the angel trapped in my hardware

i recieved the boards!

scan of the board

the scan does absolutely zero justice for it. it really is everything i wanted it to be. my only qualm with it is that the contrast between the two different greens is not as significant as i wanted it to be.

after, i added in some of the hardware i had.

with hardware added

i slotted in my resistors and switches and other random parts that i couldn’t identify. i really liked the look of it with them in, although i didn’t add the traditional long resistors into the “love heart soul” resistor footprints that i made for them. this is only because i have cornflower blue resistors and they would clash colour-wise with the board immensely. if i had other colours like white or cream i might’ve slotted them in.

i thought about buying more parts and adding those in instead of my odd assortment, but it didn’t feel right to me. some of these parts had been with me since the start of the project; it felt like betraying the spirit of everything i was attempting to convey in this project if i replaced old parts for something sparkly and new.

instead of the usual soldering to attach parts, i just bent the metal back and twisted on the other side of the board.

despite all this, the lack of contrast was really bothering me.

this changed when i held up the board to my lamp (and laptop screen).

i remembered what user torbers said to me under my reddit post:

the board looked a whole lot better when i held it up to light, or even my window.

i do suspect that if i added copper at the back of the board, i wouldn’t be having this issue though. i’m around 85% confident in this assessment. i didn’t mention it before, but pcb’s are double sided, and all things can be added to the back too.

regardless, i decided to buy some fairy lights and a display box, and planned to illuminate the board as if it was a painting on a wall, but in a frame.

before putting it into the frame, i took photos of the board semi-illuminated (one small set of fairylights behind it).

i assembled the display box, elevating the board with the foam tape, and cutting a slot into the backing canvas to slide the fairy light batteries through. i twisted all the fairy lights together and stuck the circuit board to the backing board.

the foam tape didn’t adhere properly to the backing canvas, so I used hot glue to secure it on all sides.

here’s the final displayed (and perfectly trapped) angel:

i really like the final conclusion to this project. it was somewhat of a bittersweet chase where i ended up almost back at the start. despite all of that, i really enjoyed every step forwards and backwards.

i felt like i learnt a lot. even saying that is an understatement. i dug deep into my own perceptions of self, and unravelled things that i had never thought about. and on the flip side, i learnt an immense amount about both my own practice and methods, and taught myself whole new practice that i had never even thought about before, PCB art.

It is interesting to me how some of my initial concept sketches made it all the way through to the final parts of this project. It was stabilising to know that I hadn’t drifted too far off the feelings I was adamant in capturing when I started the project. Alongside this, one of my first explorations in the project utilised CAD software to create shapes, and my pcb was heavily reliant on CAD software (kicad) to even begin to exist. The cyclical nature of this project was both beautiful and rewarding for me to experience. The final designs themselves are also something I was proud of. The angel figure being strapped down to the board using silkscreen wire meant that she wouldn’t be able to escape, despite the fact that her whole existence was already etched permanently into the metal and solder mask. The inescapability of one’s own digital identity was something I felt resonated well. I always love to add words to my work, and I thought that the little phrases I was able to add really struck deep at the ugly emotions I was trying to reach for throughout this entire project. I value the feelings I try to convey with my pieces above anything technical. And more than anything, I want the viewer to resonate even a little bit with my work, no matter what it is that they experience when they see my images

finally, i’d like to tie it all up by bringing us back to the idea i got so hung up on at the start of this project; digital graveyards.

it’s somewhat ironic, because as i mentioned before, when getting a PCB manufactured, you are required to order multiple, even though i don’t need them. And i’m sure that there are hundreds of thousands of manufactured pcb’s just sitting around, waiting for purpose, just like those abandoned military installations mentioned in “the ooze”. except they won’t rot. they don’t “expire” or go mouldy or cease to function. they’ll just live on your shelf, in your drawer, inside your machine. my angel doesn’t get a choice. she, too, will be a waste. She already was when i was forced to order five copies of her.

The idea of sending off a piece of your identity to be manufactured somewhere where I had no jurisdiction was both scary and exhilarating. It was a high-cost process with little control over what I would get back. A piece of my identity would just be shipped back to me in a box. It involved deep knowledge of the parts of a circuit board, but also various circuit components to allow something functional to be born. PCBs are everywhere, in everything technological. Learning something from scratch is always hard, and more so when so much technical knowledge is needed. I have a background in engineering and have always loved physics and circuitry, which helped the whole process, but it took me a while to pick it up the interactions between the layers.

Generally, I tend to struggle when adding colour to my images. Not because I am not lacking in picking out colours and schemes, but more that I feel like colour should be used in meaningful ways. PCB art is so limiting that it forces you into that same box, one that I feel is parallel to the current internet experience. They can’t have more than what they are, cannot stretch past their limits, because at their core, they are meant to slot into the machine. This, too, is true of human existence. We spread ourselves too thin, divide our personalities up so that we look good on all sides, and cater to the crowd; the internet, in this specific retelling. But we are still human. We still breathe and let current flow through us and demand attention. Will you love this side of me forever? I feel like that is the original sin of these so-called “digital identities”. And while it is hard not to play into it while coexisting alongside this online realm, this whole project has allowed me to see myself a little clearer and accept the things I make as parts of my own heart.

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✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴ END OF SEQUENCE. START UP ANOTHER?

live well / breathe more / look up / feel the air / love freely / show emotion / explode on contact / deny everything